#TheSW30 Blogging Challenge Day 6 : Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

DAY 6Day 6 : Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

The quote was lifted from the magazine interview with Nick, a male escort/professional hooker played by Dermot Mulroney in the romantic comedy film The Wedding Date (2005). The movie was about a single lady, Kat in her mid 30’s, (played by Debra Messing of Will and Grace) who was so pressured by her half-sister’s wedding that caused her to hire Nick to pose as her boyfriend.  It was a good romantic comedy film, though personally I think it lacks the ‘kilig’ factor. I liked the twist and the ending anyway. It left me thinking, if I were in Kat’s shoes (or in her cute little dresses haha) having a suave, smart, hot guy like Nick will I be willing to shell out some cash for some cover up rescue? Maybe not.

Now going back to the question at hand, do you believe that every woman has the exact love life she wants? Answer could be a yes or no.

Yes. Being the kind of woman of today, who knows what we want in life, who goes an extra mile to be there. We chase our dreams, we make things happen. With this characteristics, it’s close to impossible that we can’t be at the kind of love life we want. We use our brains, we use our heart. Either way, we will be where we want to be in a relationship. It can be good or bad for us, but we feel and think that we belong here and we can handle it.

Single people are single, because they chose to be. They may want the freedom, they are spared from a possible heartache of being with a partner or having a responsibility that comes with it.  They have more time for just about anything.

Bottom line is, single or not, we will be exactly where we want to be. Miserable or not. Who cares? It’s our own problem and we will surely learn from it.

No. Most young girls grow up with the Princess and Prince concept of love life, who wouldn’t wish for happy endings? Can we blame the bed time stories told to us by our parents or the ones first taught in kinder? Shall we blame the romantic comedy flicks we’ve seen and books we read. No need.

Fairy tale is something we want to be once in awhile in our lives. Of course nobody wants to experience pain and heartache. No one wants to be lead on, only to left with shattered hearts after and if we do, there would be that one knight in shining who will swept us off our feet and rescue us. Sadly these are just in fairy tales and romantic books or movies. These may or may not happen in real life. But so what? The journey itself is good enough.

There’s a saying that goes “Life is how we made it”. Where we are right now in our life and love is where we wanted to be. Whatever happens in between our journey to today, may either break us or make us. It’s a choice, up to us how to take it. Do not regret, always learn from it. What you do today is where will lead you to your tomorrow. Just make the most of it.

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#TheSW30 Blogging Challenge – Day 4 : Your biggest fear as a single person

DAY 4Day 4 : Your biggest fear as a single person.

Fear even to the smartest and strongest person is one of the most normal feeling one could ever experience.  It’s the thin line between being in one’s comfort zone and his/her life’s next adventure. Fear is sometimes the deciding point whether we keep going or pause for awhile or stay.  Fear is inevitable but should be surpassed before it consumed you completely.

I have my own share of fears over the years, some of it I learned to deal with and eventually overcome. Some are still a work in progress, but so far, so good. It helps me in my toes, kept me me balanced and focused on what I am supposed to be doing at this point in my life while I wait for God’s gift to be delivered.

Let me share my top 5 fears I used to have being a single and how I dealt with them :

1. Fear that people would think something is wrong with me. I used to feel that others may think just because I am independent, tough, frank and strong-willed woman, I am driving away men in my life.

How I dealt with it : I finally accepted who I am. I may not perfect but totally not bad. What others perceived a bad characteristic of a woman can be something attractive to someone else. For as long as I don’t forget that men were created by God to be respected and loved, then I should be okay. Each man should be appreciated and understood, that’s men’s  best definition of being loved.  Of course I am fully aware of my bad traits and I am in the process of improving myself to become a better person each year of my life.

So to you, my dear ex who once told me during a break-up drama, that I am too smart and knows everything (in a sarcastic tone and insulting kind of way), you may succeed in hurting me at that point, but I looked at the brighter side of it, took it as a constructive criticism. Thanks for acknowledging the fact that I am smart, we both know now why we ended up apart. But definitely I still do not know everything, and never will be because that could be too freaky.

2. Fear that I would end up lonely and alone. With friends and family around, I believe that can’t be possible. But life has full of surprises, and I don’t want to come unprepared.

How I dealt with it : I get myself busy with opportunities and keep my options open to possibilities. I live my life to the fullest, in a way that I know and can, I made friends and eliminate not-so friends. I only need a few but with quality, you know. And above all, I will always remember that no matter happens, my family would be there for me always. Did I mentioned I already have one niece and three nephews I truly adore and loves me in return somehow.

3.  Fear that I would be less valuable in the market if I turned 30, or worse 40 : When I turned 30 and I still feel and looked 20s. I’m turning 39 this month and I still get that ‘di halata’ (looks younger than my age) remarks from those who asked me about my age which I never lied about. I’ve gained a few pounds and Sexy was no longer my second nickname (not just because of Jinggoy, but because it doesn’t fit me well anymore). But I am still confident, but I don’t want to be too confident.  So….

How I dealt with it : Ageing is something that we have no control of.  Sad truth, most men are visually oriented so we must do our part as a woman, not only for them but for ourselves, first and foremost.  I quit smoking (I’m on my 5th year already), I limit my drinking (my last experience on drinking has gone terribly wrong and I promised not to do that anymore), I started losing weight (from 110lbs to bloated to 145lbs, now I am 134lbs.) more to lose, I can do it I believe. I do moisturize my skin now when before I was a wash and wear kind, no lotions or anything.  Now, I visit the derma clinic for my zits before it gets worse.  I took my vitamins and supplements. I still have to work on my sleeping habits and other health matters. But I am getting there.

4. Fear that I would be too comfortable and content being alone that I would no longer need other people in my life. Again, that would be impossible. I have this habit of evaluating myself periodically. I am open to change and I accept opinions and criticisms.

Let me share you an incident when I realized that I should not be too comfortable because it hurts other people.

This happened to me twice or thrice already on different occasion and with different persons. The most recent was when I went to the mall with a guy friend from the office to get his laptop fixed in the service center. We went to check also other shops for gadgets and accessories.

So after hopping to several shops, I felt hungry and decided to went down to the fast food area to grab a bite. I was about to take the escalator when I realized I have to go back to second to the  last shop I’ve been to. There I found my guy friend inside the shop, with his most accusing stare at me as I enter.  Just before I could ever start with my alibi he faked an angry statement ‘hoy babae nakalimutan mo na may kasama ka ano? (hey, you totally forgot you have company do you?). The male salesmen attending to him seems to be at the edge of bursting into laughter as I tried to weave a lie. My friend was certain (and kept on nagging till the following day) that I did forget I am with him really. He even went on and on about being too used to being alone that I forget company. He’s right, maybe. So I did not contest anymore, I just chose to  learn my lesson. Glad he was not a date or bf (again) though.

How I dealt with it : Of course I still go out on my own. I will do that for as long as I enjoy the company of myself.  But this time, I tried to grab an office mate, a friend to simple errands I used to do alone. I phoned friends to ask for directions, for an opinion, or to simply call and talk to them as I do my shopping. I attend birthday celebrations (or at least remember to greet them) whenever I can.  Guess with these, it will also help me get rid of my fear #2.

5. Fear of not able to have my own child. Let me admit that this made it to my BIGGEST fear. It is something that I totally have no control of.  I fully understand that at my age (who has never given birth nor gotten pregnant) , it’ll be hard to conceive a child. And if I do, chances are it will be definitely difficult and risky.

How I dealt with it : Leave everything to Him. Prayers, prayers and prayers. Be ready for surprises.

Let me end this post with a quote I found somewhere online :

Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears we can move forward stronger and wiser within ourselves. 

Fear

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#TheSW30 Blogging Challenge Day 1 : “And why are YOU still single?”

DAY 1The author of the book ‘The Single Woman’, Mandy Hale started a  30-day Blogging Challenge, and I learned about it thru Facebook and I’m joining in the challenge. I believe this will help me also to stay in my habit to update my blogs and business websites regularly.

Today, being day 1 is about  one of the most favorite question people ask to single women. So how do I respond to “And why are you still single?”.  To some it may be a dreadful question to answer while for others it’s just some random simple question that needs an honest or witty answer. I chose to fall on the latter kind.

My usual witty response would be : “Ohhh (looks at my watch) it’s late (or too early). Let me try my luck again tomorrow (or maybe later)”.  Some may hear it as like I just missed the bus and I can always wait  for the next one to arrive anytime. For the more sensitive kind of people, they would take it as a subtle way to avoid a complicated question that has no convincing answer just yet. Depending on the reaction of the person on my response who asked, I would try to provide a polite answer or a rough one when provoked.

1. If the person laughs at my usual response : I will take it as an opportunity to kid about the question at hand. Thus, giving no proper answer why. Honestly, I sometimes think that I don’t really know why.

2. If the person sounded concern : I simply say I don’t know but I give the assurance that I am okay being single, at least now. Followed with ‘I don’t want to rush into things, I’m still young’. Now if that statement makes the person laugh, then I can do #1.

3. If the person sounds like he/she is just intriguing me  : With a smile, my immediate response would be a straight ‘It’s none of your business. haha!’. Then the topic will be dropped instantly.

4. The meanest reply I gave was –  ‘And why are you still married?’. lol.

I have a couple of single friends and occasionally I would also ask them the same question being thrown to me and it’s funny to hear how each of them has an amusing answer. Yes, we chose to take it lightly every time.

Seriously, in my heart I strongly believe that God created us in pairs, He only separated us in the beginning so we can better appreciate our pair when it’s time to unite again – in His time of course.  For now, I don’t want to stress myself thinking about why, the same way that I wish the people around me would trust me whenever I say, I am worried which I believe it’s a normal thing to feel, but I have strong faith that God has better plans for me.

For Day 2 of the challenge, I will post about a moment or a day (I don’t have much, honestly) when being single really sucked.

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RANDOM THINGS…

Long time no blog. 🙂

I had a crazy month approaching my very first full wedding coordination project last July 11. Had passed on a lot of meet-ups and chats with people who needed my time and help one way or another. I missed a few ‘gimmicks’ and avoided opening my inbox with interesting subjects from our grade school alumni yahoogroups. Damn, I’m missing a lot on things and hhmm..someone.

On the other hand, I am glad because I finally started with a new venture. Not to mention, my No Front Act was on its 4th Year already. I look forward to better years to come. More events, parties and opportunities.

ON TITA CORY

Just finished watching a documentary about our Former President Cory Aquino who sadly, after battling for cancer for more than a year, finally gave her good bye to the Filipinos 3:00 am of Saturday, August 1, 2009.

I was still in my Retronym event at Checkpoint Bar in Parañaque that time and was about to go home when heavy rains poured. Newlyweds Mike and Audrey invited me to sleep over their place though, but I wouldn’t want to disturb their sweet time of course. So, I asked Mike hailed the next cab we see when rain kind of tamed before they could think of driving me home.

I just realized now that the heavens did cried (or should I say welcomed Tita Cory) that morning of Saturday. Oh well, I am not complaining for soaking a bit getting in the cab that morning now that I did caught a bad cold and spent the almost the whole day dozing in bed. Now, I can’t sleep anymore. 😦

GO NEGOSYO
Yesterday, I was awaken by my alarm with a note that I should prepare for my Sunday meeting with a client for a wedding and send out the email to Mitch. We are already having trouble getting a venue for her and Benedic’s twins’ for December. So, though a little sleepy and lazy ( I felt like a flu is coming up but I ignored it ), I turned on the PC and do what I got to do.

I was saddened by the confirmation on Yahoo News that Tita Cory died. I wanted to write a blog about it, but I got other things to finish first. I content myself by posting the sad news briefly to my Facebook wall instead.

Even with less sleep I still went to the free seminar at Megatrade Hall with Lori in the afternoon. It was raining hard and wanted to backed-out actually. Tsk. I just promised myself to catch up on lost sleep early that night. Again, I got drizzled while crossing from the parking space to the mall. Tsk. 😦

The seminar/talk was really inspiring. I missed winning the free book from Go Negosyo when one of the panelists asked what was Lapid Chicharon’s original business (mind you it’s not chicharon). I know the answer because I remember seeing a feature on tv before. Damn, I couldn’t remember it that time. Blame it on lack of sleep. 😦
Well, for those who don’t know it, they supply oil for the Nissin noodles before they got into the yummy chicharon business.

We bought interesting ‘business’ books from the exhibit, Lori tasted some food samples. I resist on doing so, I wanted to satisfy my cravings for KFC chicken that day. I kind of missed C*** and Janeth whenever I craved for KFC.

I missed an invitation thru text, didn’t noticed my phone was off. Tsk. I wanted to see h** pa naman.

ON BACKLOGS

I still have a lot of photos and blogs to post about my past month’s ‘craziness weeks’. Plus some websites to polished and finally launch in time for the Ber-month prospects to see. Don’t want to admit itm but I’m a little stressed about it. I’m excited though and looks forward to some great challenge this year.

Glad that supposed meeting was moved to another day because my partners are still in Tabuk enjoying their white water rafting escapade. I promised to go with them for the Mt. Pinatubo exploration.

For now, let me suffer with a bad cold. That’s what I get for not bringing an umbrella or jacket and not taking my Vit. C. I hope to be awake early and catch on Jon online at 10:00 am. He’ll surely scold me again when I couldn’t answer his call or won’t be online per agreed time.

I couldn’t decide on what photos to upload with this post now. 😦

WAITING GAME OVER!!!

Alright, I promised that I won’t TELL this story.

But I did not promised I will not WRITE it here.  hahaha..

Sorry, my friend, I really want to do this. Okey, names and some incidents withheld. Hmmp.  

Just wanna share this story I ‘learned’ yesterday that  made me drop my supposed schedule for the next few days in an instant.

( To a ‘friend’ whom I may have disappointed last night, I will make it up to you as promised. )

 

They met in their early high school years during a summer vacation in their province. Like most summer vacations in our teen years, we expected a few new acquaintances and develop some crushes, right? 🙂

 

To cut the story short, their summer vacation ended and soon after they’re back in their respective hometowns. The boy opted to visit the girl in her school when classes resumed. ( The school was named after a famous Philippine president ).

 

Since, during that time, cellular phones are not yet a valuable tool of communication and even landlines are not for everyone, meet-ups become if not challenging, an exciting thing to do. From planning, mustering the courage to ask and get approval of to the exact day of the scheduled meet-up, it consumes time, effort and the bonus?, maybe a whole lot of ‘pogi points’ on the spot if the object of your ‘pagpapapogi’ will appreciate it. The boy got the support of his cousins in his waiting challenge. They will also serve as an army of back-ups or a cheerleading squad behind him in case he’ll need it.

 

He patiently waited until all students seemed to emptied the huge high school. Then came three bullies (for some reasons went to school that day, awww), armed with a knife and bully-shits, approached them and take the excitement of waiting off  from them.

 

Worse thing, the girl did not ‘showed up’. She is fortunately not in that school that day, neither would she be in other days.

 

Unfortunately, the boy went to the wrong high school branch. Ouch!

 

Even worst? The encounter with the bullies left the boy some scars in his arms and hands. Luck waved a finger at them in that fateful day allowing him to keep his life, suffered some stitches and keep some scars in memory of a ‘young sweet love’ thing. With a hope that one day he’ll see the girl again, he moved on with his life as swelling of the scars heal. Three years later, their paths crossed again and fate interfered, they parted ways — AGAIN.

 

What happened in those years after the last ‘together’ episode are not to be told here. Sorry. 🙂

 

Fast forward 2009, one  Saturday of April, ‘destiny’ ended it all.  As the boy recounts it, after twelve years, they met again. He admitted that he could have just forget the girl and everything about her and move on.

But destiny has its own course, I guess. 🙂

 

Yesterday, over cold choco and sweet cake donuts in a noisy sweet shop inside a busy mall—the girl was introduced to a friend as his WIFE.

 

No, they’re not married yet.

moa-road1

 

So here’s to the owners of this story…

 

Some scars are not just scars, nor simply a conversational piece’ to start with. Its a reminder of why things happen and why we should see its reasons. What or who may have hurt you in the past may make you happy one day. Make up for lost time and know each other more.  Love more, wait less.

 

I am not a fan of this ‘destiny’ beliefs. But like what I fortuitously uttered, it must be ‘destiny’.

And the ‘tactless part’ of my brain means it. hahaha.

This song plays in my mind as I write this.

 Somewhere Down The Road

by : Barry Manilow

We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn’t have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they’re calling you away
I have no right to make you stay

But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn’t really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me

Sometimes good-byes are not forever
It doesn’t matter if you’re gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home

And somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn’t really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me
Letting go is just another way to say
I’ll always love you so

We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe we’ve only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
‘Cause

Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn’t really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong
With me

Disclaimer: I’ll be glad to relate the story that would follow yesterday’s. Right here in my blog. When I am permitted to do so. J

BAKANTE… ‘WAG MUNANG UPUAN.

Humiling ng magandang senyales.  Sipatin at alamin. Intindihin.

Kung mas malinaw ang pangitain ng isang masalimuot na katapusan ng inaasahang isang masayang kabanata, tigilan mo na agad.

May panahon pa.

Habang pwede pa.

Wag mag-alalang may mga espasyo na kelangan munang wag punan.

May panahon sa bawat pagkakataon.

Alam mo naman di ba na…

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.

bakante

bakante